What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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