walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
