Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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