You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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