Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
