Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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