Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
