UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
