Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I'm getting married
To pizza
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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