I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
now i know why i became what i already was.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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