i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
