Umm I'm too high to move.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
