I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
