i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
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