Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
