I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
