i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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