I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I came so hard my ears popped.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
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