just tell him i said nine months
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
