dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
