At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
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