i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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