your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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