this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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