It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
