i permit you to call me
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
