I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
