She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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