I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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