Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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