No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
my shit smells like andre
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
