if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
