Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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