I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.�
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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