My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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