What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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