dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
