come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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