My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
But I just had this pork p�t�. It was dick grabbing.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
