Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
My dick has a subreddit
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
