Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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