forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
