the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
My dick has a subreddit
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
