I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
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