Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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