All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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