I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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