I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
