Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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