I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
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